People ask you a lot of questions when you're pregnant. Waaaaaay too many questions. One of those will inevitably be about where you're planning on delivering the baby. Generally people are expecting the answer to be a specific hospital, and it can get a little awkward if your answer is "at home!" I managed to silence an entire group of women when that was my answer at a baby shower... I mean, after all, you might as well give birth in a cave.
Anyway, here are my personal reasons for choosing a home birth rather than a hospital. This isn't my way of trying to convince anyone else to switch to home birth; it's simply the reasoning behind my choice. Today, the first thing the pediatrician asked me was where my baby was born. The second question was "why?". I was really glad that I had made an informed decision at that point. Don't simply default to doing what you think should be done. It's your choice. You can research and figure out what will be best for your family.


1. Pregnancy and delivery are not a sickness.
Low risk pregnancies don't require the care that a hospital is designed for. Hospitals are there to treat illness and prevent illness. A newborn baby is not an illness! The common medical treatments that a newborn requires are able to be taken care of by a competent licensed midwife.
Let me be clear-- I am SO THANKFUL that we have hospitals! And I wouldn't have chosen a homebirth if we had not had the security of a hospital very close to our home. But hospitals are not always a necessity to have a baby without complications.


2. Your risk of c-section skyrockets to 30% when you go to a hospital for your labor.
It's what's commonly called the cascade of interventions. You go into labor and head to the hospital. Your labor isn't progressing fast enough so you're given pitocin (the synthetic version of oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes you to go into labor and have contractions). Pitocin causes contractions that are too strong for you to handle, so you choose an epidural. The epidural can slow down the labor too much, and the risk of infection (after your water breaks) goes up. Suddenly a cesarean is suggested. Or, because of continuous electronic fetal monitoring, which some hospitals require, there's belief that the baby is in distress, and a cesarean is deemed necessary.
Obviously in some cases, a C-section is a necessary and beautiful thing! But, in many cases, it's simply about convenience, or a misreading of technology.

Also, the conspiracy theorist in me would like to point out that C-sections take up much less of your doctor's time and effort, and make more money for the hospital. I find myself wondering how many of the non-medically necessary c-sections in the US are simply due to the convenience of the medical staff.

3. Your baby is already acclimated to the germs in your home.
Why would I want my child to be born in an environment where strange diseases that we have no natural immunity to abound? Where there is a risk of MRSA and other staph infections that would not be found in your own home? Your baby has built up natural antibodies to the environment you are in; the hospital is a brand new place with a host of foreign germs that neither of you are immune to.

4. Hospital protocols may not align with your wishes.
Common protocols for birth in hospitals are much more involved than you might think. Some require constant monitoring, which means you can't move around much during labor. Some don't ask you before taking your baby away to bathe him (using baby washes that have some undesirable chemicals), or even ask before administering immunizations. Right after you've given birth isn't really the most convenient time to be trying to keep track of everything that they automatically do. My experience with my midwife meant that before the baby was born, every single thing that would be done or not done was clearly laid out. She and her assistants knew what I wanted in advance and we didn't have to try to hash anything out on the spot. With a large medical staff in a hospital rotating in and out, your wishes get lost in the shuffle much easier... and then if you want anything other than standard, you become *that* annoying patient who thinks they know better than a doctor. My midwife constantly encouraged me to research and have reasons for my choices, and then was very supportive of the decisions we made, because she knew us and our logic behind things.

5. All the comforts of home can only be found....at home.
I am a homebody, and I knew my labor would be smoother if I was more relaxed, which was not going to happen in a foreign environment. In fact, I didn't even go into labor until I was totally alone. When someone would come around in the first twenty hours, my contractions would slow down, then when I was alone again they started back up. I'm fairly certain a hospital would have caused a much longer labor because I'm wired that way. Being able to labor at home and not have to rush off anywhere was *amazing*. Two hours after my baby was born, I was settled on the couch downstairs with everything I wanted or needed right there. Including my own familiar bathroom, which, after giving birth, was a major necessity. There was no need to go from a triage room before birth, to a delivery room for birth, wait for a recovery room after birth, etc.... I didn't have to get in a car a day after delivery to go home, and I didn't have to put my brand-spankin-new baby into a cold carseat, or deal with hospital discharge protocols.

6. I wanted the one-on-one care that I could get with a midwife.
I saw her every month, then more frequently in the third trimester. It's awesome to see the same person every time, in a comfortable home environment. Also, I was able to meet her student who would also be at my birth. She answered tons of questions, and her input on decisions was valuable but never pushy. By the time I had my baby, she knew me and I knew her, and more importantly, had learned enough about her to know I could trust her completely. We were continually blown away by how knowledgeable she was. She came to our home one day and three days after he was born, and took care of all the monitoring and checking up that needed to be done. I called and texted pictures if I had a question, and never once did I feel like I was bothering her or taking up her time unnecessarily. Currently we have an awesome pediatrician, but I don't feel comfortable texting a picture of my kid's random rash to him. You're supposed to deal with whoever is on call. It totally makes sense to me, but I do miss the ease of my husband reminding me to simply "Call Ann!"

7. A good midwife is medically competent and equipped to help bring a baby into the world.
I'm not advocating giving birth far from civilization, by yourself, and calling it simply natural. That's stupid. Stupid and reckless. What I am advocating is a safe environment with personal, professional care by someone who knows what to do if there are complications. I wouldn't recommend a midwife that wasn't licensed, nor would I encourage someone to go that route if they had known complications.


So, those were some of my reasons! A home birth is not for everyone.  If you have a high risk pregnancy, you'll want to be in a hospital. Of course, a competent midwife wouldn't allow you to have a home birth if you were high risk.
Also, I would never suggest someone do it if the idea terrifies them. Labor is already a scary unknown to a first time mom; adding further stress won't help their experience go more smoothly. Do what works best for you and your baby!

Pregnancy is weird and makes you a little crazy.
One of the things that can come up when you're pregnant is the urge to compare with others. I know a lot of other people that are also expecting right now, and while I don't know if everyone goes through this, I find myself comparing their life to mine.
Oh, and if you aren't around other pregnant people in real life? They are all over the internet! Drifting through pinterest, you see 'pregnant' models that likely aren't even actually pregnant. On facebook, articles featuring "real life stories!" with women who are working sixty hours a week on their highly successful home business and rocking their eighteenth pregnancy. (Extra points if they have an Etsy shop or more than a thousand Instagram followers.) It makes your head spin, and insecurity creep in. Hormones wreak havoc, and you end up thinking crazy things.

"She's further along and skinnier than I am."
"She's pregnant with TWINS and looks better than me."
"She isn't wearing maternity clothes yet and I thrive on them."
"My skin doesn't look good; the internet said my skin would look good!"
"That lady on Pinterest is pregnant with twins *and* her house is clean *and* she works full time."
Or, the opposite comparison-- "My living room is cleaner than hers, that's good right?"
And finally, all the time, "HOW AM I SHOWING THIS EARLY!?"

The first week I knew I was pregnant, I watched a ridiculous amount of youtube videos, some on "surviving pregnancy." These women looked amazing. Their hair was fabulous, their makeup perfect. Not one of them looked tired or sick. And they were all posting these weekly updates; some included how their work life was going, some how they were meeting fitness goals each week, some how their diets included eighty billion servings of fresh produce and lean protein. (This is while I'm eating crackers for breakfast lunch and dinner.) As a bonus, there was usually a beautiful immaculate home in the background of their flawlessly shot video. The first week of pregnancy, I naively thought "Okay, so this is how pregnancy looks." Of course, they would talk about how hard it was, but they sure did a good job at making it *look* easy!

By the 7th week of pregnancy, I realized that was *not* how my pregnancy looks!
By the 13th week, I was discouraged that not only was I still feeling nauseated, but my hair had only looked good for about two minutes that week. Then I threw up. And I still hadn't accomplished a tenth of what the glowing-ad-quality women in the videos had.
By the 16th week, which is now, I'm realizing that it doesn't matter! Chances are you're the only one analyzing your life; people care about you but they don't care to sit and obsess over your life and judge you. People have their own lives and very likely are not spending time thinking about how poorly or well you are doing at "being pregnant." They are living their life; which is what you should be doing too!

Your pregnancy is YOURS. Do what works for you and your husband. Your life is not a cookie cutter that you have to fit everything into. It's okay if you have such a bad headache that you can't get out of bed and the dishes sit an extra day. And it's FINE if you are wearing maternity clothes as early as possible!

In all seriousness, that's been the best-- My sister in law is lending me a bunch of her maternity clothes. Because I didn't have to buy them, I've been wearing them probably earlier than most people. (since last week, 15 wks) The first day I wore them, I mentioned it to someone at work, saying that I would probably end up spilling a coffee since I was borrowing someone else's clothes. Their response was shock that I was ALREADY wearing maternity clothes! I instantly felt a little stupid and like I was doing pregnancy wrong. (This is my first time, after all.)
But let's be realistic-- whether you are showing or not, your stomach is uncomfortable basically all the time when you're pregnant! Early on it's bloating, (everything you eat doesn't agree with you) then baby growing, then...well I haven't gotten there yet, so we'll see. In addition to that, my sister and I both are super short waisted. I have long legs and about three inches from my ribs to my hip bone. That is not conducive to hiding a pregnancy! I'm sick of sucking my stomach in; it's stupid, uncomfortable, and vain. Why would I put myself in more discomfort for the sake of...what? vanity? pride? Not looking pregnant when I AM pregnant?
But I don't care if you're built like a model and not showing at all-- if maternity clothes are what you are comfortable in, then wear the darn stretchy waisted jeans. For me, they are the only way I am comfortable without also looking constantly sloppy. "Am I going to work out or do I just wear sweatpants all the time!?" was going to become my mantra if I didn't start wearing some maternity clothes. Some days I still wear my normal jeans, but other days, that ain't happening!

As far as the other stuff goes-- I know what days I am legitimately too knocked out to accomplish more than the barest minimum. And I know what days I am using my pregnancy as an excuse for laziness. I know. Listen to your body! Don't be a lazy bum, but don't try to be superwoman at the expense of your rest and your baby's health. It's not worth it.
It's so easy to feel like a failure when you aren't getting as much done as you used to. For us, I had to find out from my husband what things were his priorities around the house, and if I feel crummy I try to just get those things done, because I care about his sanity too. That's not to say there haven't been times when he gets home from work before I do and does the dishes; those days definitely exist and it's a nice reminder of what a sweet man I married! But don't feel like a failure if you don't bounce home from work and put on a gourmet dinner, followed by doing dishes and laundry-- preferably while wearing pearls and heels like June Cleaver. Most of us can't stand the smell of cooking right now anyways. Make it easy on yourself and spend a couple extra dollars to get dinners from Costco that literally just have to be put in the oven. It's cheaper than eating out because you didn't want to cook. (And starving yourself and your husband isn't really a good option. I tried that.)
If that means pizza, no judgment here. How do you think we survive Mondays around this house?

The bottom line is this- it's okay to not be like all the superwomen online who seem to have it all together. Do what you can without overdoing, and be okay with the fact that you may not look the same as other women. You may not have the cleanest house for a while. You may survive on just the barest minimum because the nausea is bad whether you stand, walk, sit, or lay down. What works for you one day might not work the next.

Be inspired by other women's examples, not discouraged because you aren't the exact same. Take away the good, learn what you can, and leave the "I'm not good enough" attitude at the door. You will gain nothing by comparing yourself to other people. Everyone is built differently and that's fine. Know your own limits, work as hard as you *can*, but don't cry yourself to sleep if the laundry doesn't get done. It will still be there tomorrow. If you know deep down that you are doing the very best you can to eat well (you know, eating whatever you can without throwing up), get what exercise you can (that is, if walking doesn't make the pounding headaches worse), and accomplishing what you can, then you are doing a good job. Being pregnant changes literally everything about your life; it's a major adjustment, physically, emotionally, and every way you can think of. Comparing yourself to others won't make that adjustment easier. For some of us, pregnancy is hard. Be honest with yourself and then do your best. My mom has reminded me that you're not an invalid when you're pregnant, and that's a good thing to remember; don't use it as an excuse. It is a reason for a lot of things, but not an excuse for everything.  She was also super encouraging when I wanted to cry all the time because I don't have energy to get things done. My family reminds me that it's hard work and a major change.

The thing I'm coming away with here is that pregnancy is about balance. Finding that balance is important and up to you. Don't waste time comparing yourself to other people. No one else is.