My waist is fatter than yours!

Pregnancy is weird and makes you a little crazy.
One of the things that can come up when you're pregnant is the urge to compare with others. I know a lot of other people that are also expecting right now, and while I don't know if everyone goes through this, I find myself comparing their life to mine.
Oh, and if you aren't around other pregnant people in real life? They are all over the internet! Drifting through pinterest, you see 'pregnant' models that likely aren't even actually pregnant. On facebook, articles featuring "real life stories!" with women who are working sixty hours a week on their highly successful home business and rocking their eighteenth pregnancy. (Extra points if they have an Etsy shop or more than a thousand Instagram followers.) It makes your head spin, and insecurity creep in. Hormones wreak havoc, and you end up thinking crazy things.

"She's further along and skinnier than I am."
"She's pregnant with TWINS and looks better than me."
"She isn't wearing maternity clothes yet and I thrive on them."
"My skin doesn't look good; the internet said my skin would look good!"
"That lady on Pinterest is pregnant with twins *and* her house is clean *and* she works full time."
Or, the opposite comparison-- "My living room is cleaner than hers, that's good right?"
And finally, all the time, "HOW AM I SHOWING THIS EARLY!?"

The first week I knew I was pregnant, I watched a ridiculous amount of youtube videos, some on "surviving pregnancy." These women looked amazing. Their hair was fabulous, their makeup perfect. Not one of them looked tired or sick. And they were all posting these weekly updates; some included how their work life was going, some how they were meeting fitness goals each week, some how their diets included eighty billion servings of fresh produce and lean protein. (This is while I'm eating crackers for breakfast lunch and dinner.) As a bonus, there was usually a beautiful immaculate home in the background of their flawlessly shot video. The first week of pregnancy, I naively thought "Okay, so this is how pregnancy looks." Of course, they would talk about how hard it was, but they sure did a good job at making it *look* easy!

By the 7th week of pregnancy, I realized that was *not* how my pregnancy looks!
By the 13th week, I was discouraged that not only was I still feeling nauseated, but my hair had only looked good for about two minutes that week. Then I threw up. And I still hadn't accomplished a tenth of what the glowing-ad-quality women in the videos had.
By the 16th week, which is now, I'm realizing that it doesn't matter! Chances are you're the only one analyzing your life; people care about you but they don't care to sit and obsess over your life and judge you. People have their own lives and very likely are not spending time thinking about how poorly or well you are doing at "being pregnant." They are living their life; which is what you should be doing too!

Your pregnancy is YOURS. Do what works for you and your husband. Your life is not a cookie cutter that you have to fit everything into. It's okay if you have such a bad headache that you can't get out of bed and the dishes sit an extra day. And it's FINE if you are wearing maternity clothes as early as possible!

In all seriousness, that's been the best-- My sister in law is lending me a bunch of her maternity clothes. Because I didn't have to buy them, I've been wearing them probably earlier than most people. (since last week, 15 wks) The first day I wore them, I mentioned it to someone at work, saying that I would probably end up spilling a coffee since I was borrowing someone else's clothes. Their response was shock that I was ALREADY wearing maternity clothes! I instantly felt a little stupid and like I was doing pregnancy wrong. (This is my first time, after all.)
But let's be realistic-- whether you are showing or not, your stomach is uncomfortable basically all the time when you're pregnant! Early on it's bloating, (everything you eat doesn't agree with you) then baby growing, then...well I haven't gotten there yet, so we'll see. In addition to that, my sister and I both are super short waisted. I have long legs and about three inches from my ribs to my hip bone. That is not conducive to hiding a pregnancy! I'm sick of sucking my stomach in; it's stupid, uncomfortable, and vain. Why would I put myself in more discomfort for the sake of...what? vanity? pride? Not looking pregnant when I AM pregnant?
But I don't care if you're built like a model and not showing at all-- if maternity clothes are what you are comfortable in, then wear the darn stretchy waisted jeans. For me, they are the only way I am comfortable without also looking constantly sloppy. "Am I going to work out or do I just wear sweatpants all the time!?" was going to become my mantra if I didn't start wearing some maternity clothes. Some days I still wear my normal jeans, but other days, that ain't happening!

As far as the other stuff goes-- I know what days I am legitimately too knocked out to accomplish more than the barest minimum. And I know what days I am using my pregnancy as an excuse for laziness. I know. Listen to your body! Don't be a lazy bum, but don't try to be superwoman at the expense of your rest and your baby's health. It's not worth it.
It's so easy to feel like a failure when you aren't getting as much done as you used to. For us, I had to find out from my husband what things were his priorities around the house, and if I feel crummy I try to just get those things done, because I care about his sanity too. That's not to say there haven't been times when he gets home from work before I do and does the dishes; those days definitely exist and it's a nice reminder of what a sweet man I married! But don't feel like a failure if you don't bounce home from work and put on a gourmet dinner, followed by doing dishes and laundry-- preferably while wearing pearls and heels like June Cleaver. Most of us can't stand the smell of cooking right now anyways. Make it easy on yourself and spend a couple extra dollars to get dinners from Costco that literally just have to be put in the oven. It's cheaper than eating out because you didn't want to cook. (And starving yourself and your husband isn't really a good option. I tried that.)
If that means pizza, no judgment here. How do you think we survive Mondays around this house?

The bottom line is this- it's okay to not be like all the superwomen online who seem to have it all together. Do what you can without overdoing, and be okay with the fact that you may not look the same as other women. You may not have the cleanest house for a while. You may survive on just the barest minimum because the nausea is bad whether you stand, walk, sit, or lay down. What works for you one day might not work the next.

Be inspired by other women's examples, not discouraged because you aren't the exact same. Take away the good, learn what you can, and leave the "I'm not good enough" attitude at the door. You will gain nothing by comparing yourself to other people. Everyone is built differently and that's fine. Know your own limits, work as hard as you *can*, but don't cry yourself to sleep if the laundry doesn't get done. It will still be there tomorrow. If you know deep down that you are doing the very best you can to eat well (you know, eating whatever you can without throwing up), get what exercise you can (that is, if walking doesn't make the pounding headaches worse), and accomplishing what you can, then you are doing a good job. Being pregnant changes literally everything about your life; it's a major adjustment, physically, emotionally, and every way you can think of. Comparing yourself to others won't make that adjustment easier. For some of us, pregnancy is hard. Be honest with yourself and then do your best. My mom has reminded me that you're not an invalid when you're pregnant, and that's a good thing to remember; don't use it as an excuse. It is a reason for a lot of things, but not an excuse for everything.  She was also super encouraging when I wanted to cry all the time because I don't have energy to get things done. My family reminds me that it's hard work and a major change.

The thing I'm coming away with here is that pregnancy is about balance. Finding that balance is important and up to you. Don't waste time comparing yourself to other people. No one else is.