Everyone in America has gone through a drive thru at some point. They're everywhere! And nearly everyone in Washington is familiar with the concept of drive thru coffee stands. You know, two windows, one or two baristas, get your java, keep on jiving.
And yet.
There are still a million instances where people have no clue what the proper etiquette is. (Or they just don't care.)
I work at a drive thru coffee stand. (Is this the part where I clarify that it's *not* one of those stands?) And because I can't look at a customer and say "what you're doing is the worst", I've come to say it here...You know, like a strong brave person.
So here they are-- Ten things you do that your Barista hates.
1. Coming to get your drink one minute before closing.
Someone speeds in, screeches to a halt, then breathlessly exclaims as you open the window "Oh good! I just barely made it!"
Yes. Good for you. Kudos that now we have to re-wash several things, wipe away more coffee grounds, and (my favorite) re-clean the blender if we already washed it. (Which, in summer I never do, but when it's 30 degrees out? Uh yeah, not saving that for later.
I get it though; the bottom line is that it says we are OPEN until 6. And yes, that means that up until exactly 6, I will make a drink for you! And I will smile. Because we love customers, and because we're not *technically* closed yet.
But, wrong or right, next time I see you I'll be thinking of how much later I was to dinner because you showed up at 5:59 and wanted six drinks.
2. Coming the minute I turn out the "open" sign and begging me to make you your drink anyway. Sounds reasonable, right? I only just turned out the light, surely I can just spend 60 more seconds making your drink!??
Here's the thing. I have an alarm on my phone that tells me when it's time to close. That way I don't waste time checking my phone for the time. The second I hear it go off, I flip the open sign off, start the cash register printing closing stuff, and start the first round of running cleaner through the machine. On a typical day, I have all those things ready to go so that it takes me *literally less than five seconds* to put those events in motion. Which means, by the time I open the window to you, I've crossed the Rubicon. For you to get your drink now would require it being put on the next day's cash register, and guess what? I don't do that!
We do have some customers who have called before if they are on their way and may not make it until right before we close. This is not high maintenance; this is absolutely awesome. They know we have a system for closing and a life after work, and are managing to balance their coffee needs with being considerate about the fact that we have lives too! You are the people I will make drinks for after I've already closed. (If possible.)
A couple teen girls came through recently fifteen minutes after I had closed, which that day meant I was literally about to turn out the lights and leave when they pulled up. I unlocked and opened the window and before I could get a word in, they rattled off what they wanted and promptly went back to their phones. Sincerely, I told them I was so sorry but we were actually already closed. Slowly they looked up from their phones.
"You're closed?"
"Yes, I'm so sorry! We closed at 6." (This is the part where most people say "oh, okay!" and leave.)
"So you won't make us any drinks?" one asks incredulously. Like I'm committing an active robbery.
"I can't, I'm so sorry!" I exclaim again, still trying to look sympathetic. "I shut down the machine a few minutes ago."
Then, my favorite part-- they got all agitated and annoyed. "Wait so like you won't even make us a Redbull drink?!?!?!?!" (I can't even replicate the high pitched ragey voice on that sentence)
"The cash register is all shut down as well, so not tonight..." I say, trying desperately to hang on to my sympathetic face.
Then they zoomed away without a word, which meant they didn't hear my final "sorryyyyy!" I know it's practically criminal for me to want to go home to my husband after I've closed the stand. Why wouldn't I want to stay late and make a drink for a couple deprived young kids?
3. Get a cheap(er) drink and then ask for free extras that turn it into a more expensive drink.
You know who you are, sitting in your yoga pants with your four kids in the back of your SUV.
Case in point: The americano. Here's the thing about americanos. By definition, they are made with espresso and *water*. People frequently add a little bit of cream to it, and that's great. But now, cue every teen girl in town who has switched from "I'd like a redbull spritzer please" (Spritzer? Who says that!??) to asking for...."I'd like an Americano with extra white chocolate, iced, with extra cream and light ice." What they're asking for is a breve. Which is $1.25 more expensive.
Or, to give you the benefit of the doubt, if you're ordering it to be healthier, let me just tell you now-- saying the word "americano" instead of "breve" does not actually cut down your caloric intake when you order it with extra cream...
4. Don't clarify that you wanted your drink iced, then when I hand you a hot drink, whine about it.
I'm human, and the bottom line is that I do have some sympathy for this, and because of that I will definitely offer to re make your drink iced, even if you didn't clarify. Because I want you to leave happy! And I love coffee and want you to love your coffee! But...realistically it's also annoying that because you didn't feel the need to say what drink you actually wanted, we end up making it again for you. .....and no, pouring the hot drink over a cup of ice is never something I will do. That's gross and just leads to a very watered down lukewarm "iced" drink.
5. Not mentioning what size you want.
This is me being nitpicky. But the way barista brains work is by categorizing your drink as you say it so we remember what we are making. And if you don't clarify hot or iced, and what size, we don't have the starting point. Also it means we have to ask two more questions...which you don't like answering and we don't like asking.
6. Talking on your phone in the drive thru.
This should be a no brainer. The customers I have the greatest respect for are the ones who wait to get in line until they've finished their conversation. Or, the ones who at least pull up and *pause* their conversation until we are completely finished.
The ones that drive me the most crazy are the people who try to talk to me *and* their phone at the same time. Which leads to an insane amount of awkward interaction. It's my favorite when they have the speakerphone in their car on, so I can hear the other person talking. 'What did you say? Oh wait you're at the coffee stand!"...while the driver tries to order over that.
To be fair, we do have some regulars who have prepaid cards and get the exact same drink every day, and it doesn't bother me as much if they are on their phone once in a while-- Primarily because I don't actually *need* to communicate with them beyond handing them their drink.
But still. C'mon. Adult, people.
7. Order your drink "skinny" but not actually want it both nonfat AND sugar free.
I'm looking at you, middle aged ladies coming from the hair salon. I've started to ask anytime someone says that word, because half the time they don't actually want it "skinny." They just want it nonfat.
p.s. This is where I resist getting on my soapbox about how bad sugar-free flavors are for you... Please, just order your drink sweetened with raw sugar or honey as the healthy alternative.
8. Assume someone is new just because you haven't seen them before.
It's a common thing; you only go to a place at 7:38am every day, and then, one day, you go for an afternoon drink...and, *gasp* it's someone you've never seen before! They must have just started! They must know nothing about coffee or drinks or people or life! If *you* haven't seen them, oh boy. You're a veteran at this stand. Any face that doesn't light up when it sees you must be just brand-spankin' new!
False. I still get this six months after starting again at the stand. (I worked there a couple years ago, then ended up back there six months ago, so I have a couple years there total)
News flash: Some people only work the afternoon shift! And vice versa! Which means that no, just because you never come in after 12, and I only work after 12 it doesn't mean I'm new.
Extra points if you treat me like a deaf idiot until the fourth time I've made your drink.
9. Don't know what drink you actually get.
This is a problem only found at small stands, I think. You've come here for a year, at the same time, with the same barista, and she has recommended a drink and you love it, so now that's all you get. But you have no clue what it is. Then one day you come in and someone else is working! And you stare at them blankly and say "Uh she normally makes my drink. It's, um, an iced drink with some flavor in it..."
Chances are I will ask you twelve different questions and try to figure out exactly what your regular barista makes you every morning. Or, if you're really lucky and there is no one behind you, I will text her and ask. Don't you dare get angry at me for not knowing about your existence and drink before this moment though.
But please. Don't be such an entitled american that you don't even bother to know how to order your drink! And if you get a super specific amount of sweetener, it's okay to tell me that-- but just know how much you get! I legitimately don't mind if you are picky as long as you know exactly how to order what you want. In fact, I love when picky people order exactly what they want-- because then they will be happy with what they get. If you like 4.5 pumps of hazelnut and 3/4 scoop of white chocolate, more power to you. Just tell me. It's not a big deal to be super specific-- and it's much better than the alternative of handing your drink back with a vague "Umm it's not exactly what I like..." because you were too much of a wimp to be honest about how picky you are.
If you aren't willing to order your drink specifically, then don't be willing to hand it back without a specific thing wrong with it.
10. Wait to order another drink until the end, or wait to get your money out until I'm asking for it.
This is a busy stand, with people probably behind you. I know it's easy to get distracted, but you have had more than a minute of waiting while I make your drink, and possibly a couple minutes of being in line behind someone else. Waiting to pull your wallet or purse out until I have your drink (or multiple drinks) ready, is not very considerate to the people behind you.
If you only got one drink and I have a sec while the milk is steaming I may ask for your money then, just to save time, but if you ordered four iced drinks, the best time to ring you up is at the end. And waiting while you finally pull out your wallet and take thirty seconds to find your punch card is killing me slowly. Along the same vein, if you've been waiting in line because we are super busy, you should have decided on what you want by the time you get to the window. Don't pull up after a five minute wait, and say 'just one second please...."
You've had five minutes. That really wasn't enough for you to decide on the same drink you get every day? Unless you have a question that has to be answered before you decide, you really should have been thinking this through while you were waiting in line.
So there you have it. A list of things to avoid. Or a list of things to do all at once if you are trying to film one of those annoying candid camera videos.... It's all up to you.
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